The passage of time can feel both a blessing and a burden. Memories of the past intertwine with the uncertainty of the future, creating a unique challenge. This week, I continued sharing about managing grief during the holidays. As I process the past three years of my recovery from grief,ย I know that for those experiencing a significant loss, the “most wonderful time of the year” can often be not as wonderful.
Among the most profound conversations I have with those who are experiencing grief, one question often comes up:
“Why can’t I move on from this?”
When someone opens up about their struggle, it is as if they are releasing a heavy burden they’ve been carrying. Society often expects us to move on quickly, but the truth is that moving on is incredibly difficult. It is why, when describing the process of letting go, I use the words “grief recovery.”
Healing takes time, patience, and self-compassion.
To help understand why grief comes in waves, imagine your grief as a ball within a box. The ball represents the pain of grief, and the box represents your life. Whenever you move, the ball hits the pain button, reminding you of your loss. Understand that grief takes time. The unexpected waves of sorrow will resurface from time to time. The best advice I received was, “Embrace these moments as part of the healing process.”
Navigating through grief and finding your way back to strength and resilience can feel like an uphill battle. The journey can be painful and overwhelming, but there are steps we can take toward healing and wholeness:
- Remember, there is no rush in letting go, and healing takes time. It’s okay to take as much time as you need to mourn and heal from your loss. Pushing your emotions aside will only cause them to resurface unexpectedly. Give yourself permission to process your pain and find healthy ways to heal.
- Don’t go through your grief alone. Seek out a community of individuals who understand your experience or find solace in friends and family who can provide comfort and stability. Surrounding yourself with people who empathize and support you during this challenging time is crucial.
- Allow yourself the space to grieve and heal, and then embrace the opportunity to redefine and rebuild your life. Experiencing loss often leaves us feeling broken and uncertain. Reflect on what truly matters to you, evaluate your relationships and priorities, and make intentional choices as you move forward.
- Staying close to Jesus can provide the strength and stability needed to move forward. Lean on His love, believe in His power to sustain you, and find solace in the guidance and comfort of your faith
As you rebuild your life, be selective in what you add to your plate. Prioritize relationships, ministry work, and community that uplift and bless you. Lean on the love and support of friends and family who provide stability and encouragement along your journey. Remember, seeking support and letting others help you heal is okay.
Click the link for my explanation of grief using the Analogy of the Ball in a Box.
