๐๏ธThe Healing Power of Personal Retreat
I didnโt realize how much I needed to rest until I finally stopped.
In this season of life, where I find myself feeling more like I’m looking behind, as I look ahead, Iโve come to understand that rest isn’t just a nice-to-haveโit’s essential.
My body, mind, and spirit crave it. I need time to think, to breathe, and to sit with God. Iโm a thinker and a deep processor; journaling has been my lifelong companion, with stacks of notebooks chronicling my journey. And yet, despite all this reflection, Iโve always wrestled with one profound truth: Godโs love. A love so expansive and unconditional, I struggled to accept it without feeling like I needed to earn it.
My friend recently suggested I take a retreat just 48 hours away to experience a quiet retreat. My initial reaction was, โHow indulgent! A whole two days to myself?โ But that retreat was exactly what my heart needed. God didnโt need my striving or doing. He wanted me to be stillโto sit, breathe, and experience His presence in each passing moment. It was a time to pause, acknowledge every part of myself, and be fully in His presence.
๐Breaking the Cycle of Craving Affirmation
This realization felt surreal, almost too good to be true. Could I really stop striving? I had gotten so used to finding my worth in what I do, particularly in my role as a Worship Pastor. For as long as I can remember, Iโve sung in church, seeking affirmation through the music I shared. But the trap of seeking validation through what I do, rather than who I am, had become a habit. And when that external validation was missing? I would feel empty, as though I needed to work harder, sing louder, serve more.
And yet, Godโs message was clear: โYou are already deeply loved. Not for what you do, but for who you are.โ
This truth was challenging yet freeing, especially as someone who, as a person of color, has often felt the pressure to prove I’m “enough.”ย Living in a world that doesn’t always give acceptance freely. That search for acceptance, for affirmation, for feeling โenough,โ had always felt like a relentless chase. Iโd unknowingly tied my value to the affirmations I received, striving to meet some standard I could never fully reach. But God’s love isn’t like that.
โจTwo Transformative Truths from God’s Heart
On that retreat, it was just me, God, and the ocean, as waves crashed onto the shore with a rhythm as timeless as His love. Sitting there, I heard God remind me of two simple truths:
- You are known and deeply loved.
- You are not defined by what you do but by being a beloved child of God.
These truths sank in as I watched the waves, realizing that this love, this acceptance, doesnโt require striving.
It simply requires being.
๐ฟLearning to Embrace Rest in a Restless World
Now, Iโm the kind of person whose mind never fully sits still. If there were such a thing as a โcontemplative yet restless soulโ category, Iโd be on that list. My thoughts flit around like a butterfly on a windy day, so slowing down to feel Godโs love moment-by-moment is a challenge. Itโs a challenge, but I am learning.
๐ปFinal Thoughts:
As we enter a season full of striving, take this as a gentle reminder to slow down, reconnect, and allow yourself to be loved. True rest brings us closer to God and reminds us of our status as a beloved child of God.ย You donโt have to earn Godโs love. Itโs waiting for you in the quiet moments when you let yourself rest.
๐ตCurrently Listening To:ย
Surrounded: The Playlist for the Car
The women ofย Revive: Leading & Loving It 2024 gave, prayed, worshipped, and celebrated the help of clean water and the hope of making the name of Jesus known. Check-out theย Recap of the WayMaker Moment.ย Get ready to be moved๐ญ
Nothing like the joy of kids to make you smile:
